We survived sacrament meeting! Now I could take three children to Primary and then calmly sit with Savannah in Sunday School. Marci had promised that Tehya, Jacob, and Jack all loved primary, and that they would go happily off to sharing time. Her promise had everything to do with fiction and nothing do to with reality. After the closing prayer Jacob announced that he knew the way to primary and then he left. I continued to clean up stickers, coloring books, cracker crumbs, puzzles, books, wipes, paper scraps, programs...oh wait, we never did get a program. I left the church bag and the diaper bag on the bench and took Tehya and Jack to the primary room. All the children were reverently singing along with the energized conductor, except for Jacob, darling, sweet, not lost Jacob, who yelled, "Hi Grandma," and then he waved enthusiastically at me. Joy drained completely from the faces of the other two grandchildren; separation time had come. Jack finally agreed to go sit by Jacob. Luckily he made the mistake of walking past his primary teacher on his way to Jacob. The teacher grabbed him and he was caught! Tehya took some additional coaxing, but the primary greeter persisted and convinced her to try sitting with her class for five minutes. As soon as Tehya left my side, this kind, wise primary sister insisted I follow her to Sunday School class.

I think there is an unwritten church rule that all adult Sunday school classes are to be held in relief society rooms with no chairs left for those who try to go late to class thus encouraging promptness. With hope springing eternal, we peeked in only to find no room left at the class. Savannah and I would just have to wander the halls until relief society. We successfully avoided the drinking fountain and the delightful fifteen minutes of water play by jogging past the temptation. Walking down the hall we found that someone had kindly stocked a shelf by the mother's room with all sizes of diapers. Thrilled, Savannah spent ten minutes wearing disposable diapers as hats. Looking for more entertainment, we found a ball by the coat rack and decided to play roll the ball for Grandma to fetch. This game led us into the chapel with irresistible steps. However, Savannah's beautiful dress almost reached her shoes, so climbing steps was almost impossible. I say almost impossible, because she insisted on trying to climb only to be stopped by kneeling on her dress. Screaming with frustration, she waited for me to rescue her so she could do it again and again and again. I hoped the folding door at the back of the chapel was soundproof.

Finally, it was time for relief society. A kind sister, I really need to remember names, told me that Marci and Savannah always sat on the back row with the other mothers and babies. Savannah seemed quite happy to be with other babies, even if the peace only lasted about five minutes. She watched the other mothers feed their little babies treats one at a time. They kindly offered her a treat with their outstretched hand and she proceeded to grab the whole handful and stuff every piece into her mouth at once. After four or five handful, the generous mothers sneakily hid the treats and pulled out the toys. I promise, I really did feed Savannah, she did not have to depend on the kindness of strangers for survival. With the arrival of baby toys, Savannah turned into a completely new person. She became the relief society baby bully. Good luck Marci, you only have four more weeks to go until nursery.

At last the three hour, not five hour, block was over. Now I just had to find Tehya, Jacob, and Jack, herd everyone out to the car, stuff Jack into his car seat, and find my way home. Tehya found me first. Thank you, Tehya. Jacob escaped to the gym where he set a world record in running from Grandma. I had no idea where to find Jack. Then Coral come to my rescue. She told me to go to Jack's classroom, which I did, and his grateful teachers released him into my custody. Coral persuaded Jacob to follow her to the car. With no pride left, I shamelessly asked her how to loosen the car seat buckles, which she did. She even gave me directions for a more direct way home and offered to have me follow her. Angels do walk on the earth today.

Four children strapped in. Air conditioner on. Excellent directions in hand. We left church. Is it bedtime yet?

I learned several things:
1. Going to church should qualify as an Olympic sport.
2. Going to stake conference with my grandparents and parents translates into four adults and four kids. Great odds. Four kids and one adult calls for a sense of humor.
3. The church is true, or torture is alive and well in Virginia.
4. Grandchildren are wonderful. I can't wait to go to church with them again.

Hugs and kisses from me. Love,
Grandma